PRE-ELECTION LOWJINKS
It is hard to escape noticing the sudden flurry of activity on Capitol Hill in D.C. these days. With adjournment only a few days away, elections coming up, and the realization that nothing much has been accomplished, the people's representatives are engaging in a time honored rite of passage -- finger pointing.
This collective act of placing the blame is a bit like "The Running of the Bulls." Just pure mayhem where facts and truth are as elusive as proof, and all utterances are full of bull.
This mass explanation to the electorate has as its base line, pure Hans Solo -- "It's not my fault!" Congress blames the administration; the administration blames Congress.
Forget that many from both parties have been working on various bills with administrative aids. In fact, two important bills, campaign finance and the tobacco bill came up for action. Both were backed by prominent republicans and supported by democrats. Both were sunk by the Republican leadership.
Now the finger pointing goes into high gear. And, along with "it's not my fault," is the "mine is bigger, better, longer and doesn't need the Viagra of hard earned taxpayer's money."
Referring, of course, to bills whipped up by the majority leadership to be passed in lieu of the administration's proposals. The greatest of these hoopla raising proclamations is about health care.
President Clinton threw the Congressional majority a nasty curve when he came up with the "Patients Bill of Rights" some time ago. It resonated loudly with Whee The People -- an instant campaign issue.
But for some time, the Republicans weren't worried. They were sure that Kenny Starr would get the goods on Bill and all they would have to do is impeach him and poof! There goes Bill and his program.
Bad mistake. The Comeback Kid is still President and the Congressional majority is scratching around like crazy to explain months of inactivity.
Already, the campaign ads are pounding at us from the media. Of special interest to GenderGappers are ads put out by Senators D'Amato, Faircloth and others.
Hell-bent for leather, they are going after the women's vote fearful of the ever looming gendergap.
But again they have learned nothing from their past mistakes. They still believe that women vote only with emotion because, unlike men, they have nothing to think with.
So with hardly a glance backward (or forward), these senators have leapt aboard a horse sure to win the race. A horse that women just have to find so appealing that they will even vote for the rider. A horse loaded with emotion.
A horse called, "Curing Breast Cancer." Sit back and relax, women of America. What science has been unable to do, these two and other Republicans will accomplish -- if you vote for them.
(We are also seeing ads showing that lesbigays can be cured! All due to Republican initiatives, but that's another topic.)
Kinda brings us back to the medicine shows and the magic elixir that will cure everything from poison ivy to flatulence.
How can they, how dare they continue to consign us to idiocy? Well, GenderGappers has a special medication to help these guys.
Not too many years ago, when women never had physical illness, JUST EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS, this cure-all medication was about all they got.
It's called Lydia E. Pinkham.
Swig this throughout the day, fellers. You might come up with a real issue. Or, just lie back and enjoy the alcoholic haze.
Yours for Health,
1998-029
Copyright 1998 Renee T. Louise and Ruth M. Sprague, Ph.D. These articles may be republished for noncommercial use only, provided that they are copied intact, and that this copyright notice is attached. Address all queries to: twanda@ConnRiver.net.
G e n d e r G a p p e r s T M
[liznote: You can find a little biography of Lydia Estes Pinkham at this site advertising an "all-natural" herbal remedy. It's where I lifted the above picture, which, along with her classic "Yours for Health" signature, was on the labels of her popular all-purpose medicine.]
