COMPASSIONATE CONSERVATISM ?!?
The word is out. No more of this "mean spirited" business. From now on the Repugnants insist that they will ooze "Compassionate Conservatism."
The idea is said to come from the hugely endowed Bush think tank. It's an offshoot of Daddy George Bush's successful campaign where he toured the country calling for a "kinder and gentler nation."
"Hell, that lie worked then." The thinking went "all we have to do is convince the public that we are pussycats." Compassionate Conservatism, the Com con.
They even have an agenda to go along with it. They are making sincere promises, as did a former Repugnant President, Herbert Hoover. His promises were "a chicken in every pot and a car in every garage."
They are promising "tax cuts now and tax cuts every year while we save Social Security, cancel the national debt and remove all those bad things the Demogrogs did in the White House."
The Com con promise has already been used by one of the Shrubs, George B. He is now undergoing a rigorous Purity Test to expunge any and all youthful indiscretions he might have committed. Remember Silverardo -- the Texas S&L / Whitewater?
Oh, right, that was another Shrub, brother Neil, who in 1992, stiffed the Small Business Association some $2.35 Mil that taxpayers had to ante up, and made it possible for some buddies to get "special" loans.
We mention him ONLY because during the last six years the Repugnants have given so much credence to GUILT BY ASSOCIATION.
Meanwhile, back in the East, Libby Dole is undergoing the same sort of Purity Test, although her name is not yet "out there" like The Prince of Shrubs.
She is being groomed as a stealth candidate who could be used if all the Repugnant boys in the race turn up with an overabundance of Youthful Indiscretions.
We expect at any moment to be told of her great ability to clean up messes, detoxify and fumigate. Thus she will appeal to all women (and men) who revere women's ability in this regard and realize that keeping houses neat and tidy is genetic. < cue Wolfe howl >
Just as men are genetically unable to find any article they need if there is a woman around to find it for them or point at it. < cue laughing hyena >
Whether nominated as Veep or Prez, Libby is expected to clean out the White House and sanctify it with everything in the world that is Repugnant.
But she may not be needed if Prince George W. gets the nod to run. We may all be sure that the White House cleaning will carry on apace with the Queen Mother, Barbara supervising.
You remember Barbara Bush, don't you? She's the kind of independent woman who would never reveal that she was pro-choice while she was in the White House.
Hubby George Bush had to keep the Irreligious and Unchristian ones placated, so she raised dogs, did good works and mostly kept her mouth shut -- a "good" woman.
Like, never mind honesty. Political expediency is the name of the game -- unless the Demogrogs do it, then it's lying.
And remember how clean her thoughts and language were? Too refined to use the nasty words many of the Demogrogs use, she daintily referred to Hillary Clinton as "that witch with a B." Is that sweet or what?
So, the GOPpers will use the next two years to tell us how much better off we and our country will be with their Party of Purity in charge at the White House.
They may even break into song, paraphrasing the mournful ditty, Poor Jud is dead, from OKLAHOMA!:
"The daisies in the dell will give off a different smell,
when we have put the Demogs in the ground."
Oh, brave new world to come -- NOT!
But what is Compassionate Conservatism, really? A con-tradiction in terms? A cosmic, commercial con? Or just a truly great oxymoron?
We got an answer from a "reliable source," who wishes to remain anonymous and stay healthy:
"Compassionate Conservatism means that the Conservatives will still beat up on the poor as they always do, but they'll feel really bad about it."
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Copyright 1998 Renee T. Louise and Ruth M. Sprague, Ph.D. These articles may be republished for noncommercial use only, provided that they are copied intact, and that this copyright notice is attached. Address all queries to: twanda@ConnRiver.net.