Since the election, we have noticed that many women are unhappy with the
state of the world. Not to worry. We have learned from the Bushies that
when things aren't what we want them to be we just say they are and that
makes it so.
So, be happy. Things are just great in Afghanistan since we invaded that country. Elections were held and we heard Bush say that a woman cast the first vote. Viva!
It doesn't matter that many Afghani women were not allowed to vote and are still living under oppressive conditions, or that warlords still rule most of the country and the major industry is producing dope for export mainly to the US. Don't worry, be happy.
Iraq, another country we invaded, is about to hold elections. There is some question whether it will be safe for women to go out to the polls since they are not safe now even in their own houses.
But the important thing to understand is that we have removed "an evil dictator" and most of our National Guard women and men are getting the chance to serve under fire in that country for years to come. Don't worry, be happy.
It used to be that women had to sit around in doctor's waiting rooms for a breast exam but no longer is this necessary if they fly. It is now part of airport security to routinely probe and fondle women's breasts all in the name of detecting bombs, so each lump found will be immediately attended to by a bomb squad. Don't worry, be happy.
It is understandable that many of you are concerned when you hear the crescendo of bashing going on by the Republicans. They are smearing all Democratic leaders with mud and derision.
But, never fear. The Democrats are doing a bang up job of it themselves. Their recent and ever continuing rape and pillage of former hero, Governor Dean, and strong woman, Senator Clinton, are examples that Dems can sling mud at other Democrats as well as the Repubs can. Don't worry, be happy.
We can all forget about those charges of election fraud that contrived to give Bush a majority of votes to elect him. Actually, it gave him more votes than there were registered voters in many cases. Instead look at all we've learned about how to win next time; how to lie, cheat and steal but still be free of sin and have perfect family values. The secret is to hire vote counters from the criminal class. Oh, and he taught us how to use voting machines to work in our favor by gaining control of companies like Diebold. Don't worry, be happy.
Perhaps soon, you will get a new job or your company will get new ownership. This is a time of changes but fear not, roll with them.
Chances are you will be one of those who is forced to attend services and pray in your workplace in order to keep your job, run for office and vote. Jesus may be coming soon to a workplace near you. Don't worry, be happy.
And despite all the changes there is one thing that always stays constant. That is your status as second class citizen. You will still get paid around 72% of what a male would get for comparable work for any job you do. On the other hand if you screw up you won't be fired but instead will get a big promotion. Ask Condi Rice. Don't worry, be happy.
Frightened women are said to have voted for Bush believing he would protect them from terrorists. If you are frightened, know that "anthrax is probably less of a threat than holy-water fonts brimming with nasty microbes or getting conned by a cute guy." 100 Most Dangerous Things in Everyday Life: and what you can do about them, by Laura Lee.
Don't worry, be happy.
Copyright 2004 Renee T. Louise and Ruth M. Sprague, Ph.D. These articles may be republished for noncommercial use only, provided that they are copied intact, and that this copyright notice is attached. Address all queries to: firstname.lastname@example.org.